I began a relationship in December of last year with a man much older than myself. Our age gap has made me cautious about telling people his age or meeting him. I am a 21 year old college student in a sorority and he’s a 43 year old man working at Frost bank. We are at totally different spots in our lives, but somehow it works. My family refuses to meet him and although my sisters and friends like him I still know I have to watch how I bring up the relationship. We are the farthest thing from a perfect couple, but I’ve learned a lot about an age gap relationship in the past year and here’s my advice about making it work.
Know your social habits
If your partner parties a lot and prefers the club to a Netflix night you need to be honest with yourself if you don’t like the same lifestyle. If your partner does drugs, smokes, plays a sport, or has any other significant habit that you know you can’t deal with in a partner long term, end it. My boyfriend and I work because we both enjoy drinking, but also like a night in once in awhile. Have a balance. Know your partner.
Be realistic about your expectations
I am in a sorority like I mentioned. We have many functions wherein people bring a date and I know that I can’t expect Daryl to come to those events. Although him and I work out I know he would have a hard time relating to a bunch of college aged guys while I run to the restroom. They would most certainly think he must be my uncle or a chaperon to the party. Realize each others boundaries and how or if you can make it work.
Be honest with yourself about the future
Do you want one with this person or is is casual? Be completely honest with each other.
Keep the age bashing out
Don’t call your younger partner immature and quit with the old man comments in your fights. You chose to be with each other so you obviously already know your age. Realize you both may have room to grow and grow with each other. Overall, just don’t bring your partner down about something they can’t change. It’s that simple.
Lastly, and most importantly… Are you in it for the right reasons?
Self explanatory… Be honest. Understand why each of you is in this no matter what the answer is.